The rogue Navi Tengu Man
by Beelzemon
Summary: When Lan and Mega Man encounter the Navi Tengu Man, while it be the last time? And if not, on what terms?
1. Default Chapter

The rogue Navi Tengu Man  
  
Disclaimer: No one here owns Mega Man Battle Network. However, Forte owns the concept of TenguMan.exe.  
  
Summary: After a virus attack at an airport, Lan and Mega Man encounter the Navi responsible again. but on what terms?  
  
For those familiar with Beelzemon's friends, you'll know me. Name's Forte.. NOT the Navi Forte. Anyway, since he's gone on a little trip for now.  
  
Maxim: YOU SENT HIM FLYING TO DARK RAPTOR!!!!!!!!  
  
Forte: CAN IT! Anyway. I'm putting up my own fic. I'd register an account, but I don't have many ideas right now.  
  
Chapter one - The wild blue yonder gets a reality check.  
  
Lan was relaxing after the events involving the World Three and Gospel. He earned a little rest. He was at an air show with his friends and family. Like always, Dex challenged him to a net battle, but today he declined. He just wanted to watch the Lockheed's perform. His only regret was that Mayl got sick.  
  
"I wonder when they'll start." the kid next to him said.  
  
Lan knew him. He was the kid that started Gospel. He needed friends in the end, and Lan was one of them. It was also strange that he didn't know his name, OR that he didn't have a Navi of his own. He didn't even have a Pet. That was one of the few things he was thinking about other then when the show would start. He thought for a bit. From what his father told him, this was also an experiment in testing fighter jets controlled by computers.  
  
"Hey Lan!"  
  
Lan recognized the voice.  
  
"What's up Mega Man?" He asked his Navi.  
  
"You remember what your dad said about the Lockheed's being computer controlled?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"That's just BEGGING for trouble."  
  
"Aw. quit being paranoid."  
  
".I hope that's all it is."  
  
Soon they Lockheed's were flying overhead, performing spectacular maneuvers. Then a voice boomed over the loudspeakers.  
  
"LISTEN UP FOLKS! SEE THE LOCKHEED'S? THEY'RE ARMED WITH BLOCK BUSTER BOMBS!!! AND GUESS WHO JUST HACKED CONTROL OF THEM!!!!!"  
  
Then the doors opened on the Lockheed's, and they threatened to drop the bombs. People panicked, and ran for the exits, which just HAD to be computerized locks. Lan rushed to help with the gates, but he found Chaud jacked into the system.  
  
"LAN! FORGET THE GATES! GET TO THE MAIN CONTROLS!!!!"  
  
Lan was glad he was wearing his converting shoes. He popped out the skates, and rushed to the control tower. As he expected, the door was locked, so he did the only thing logical.  
  
"MEGA MAN! JACK IN!"  
  
"ROGER!"  
  
Mega Man jacked into the system, and was glad to see the door lock linked to the controls. He rushed by viruses, and used a Sneak Run so that they wouldn't notice him. He had no time for fun. Soon he found a Navi with orange and green one his body. His pointy nose tempted him to laugh. However, the wing design scared him. They were black, and shaped like raven wings. The male Navi was goofing off.  
  
"Hey Tempest! How do I look?"  
  
Mega Man had no idea where he got them, but the Navi was sporting aviation sunglasses.  
  
"Knock it off Tengu Man! Just make sure no one stops the countdown."  
  
"Awww come on. I never get to have any fun."  
  
Tengu Man took the shades off, and threw them behind him, clonking Mega Man on the head.  
  
"OW! HEY!"  
  
Tengu Man turned around.  
  
". Strike that. I guess I will have some fun. Huh? Just perfect. you're just a kid. What challenge is that?"  
  
Lan initiated the net battling system.  
  
"Battle routine!"  
  
"EXECUTE!"  
  
Mega Man saw the battle area. It was the usual 3X6 battlefield. Lan sent his chips, and Tengu Man selected what he wanted since he, like many Navis, used a free battle system.  
  
"I'll make this easy kid."  
  
"Don't bother."  
  
Tengu Man flew down Mega Man's lane, but Mega Man side stepped, and fired at him on the way. Tengu Man followed up with a spinning wind sphere.  
  
"YAMA HARACHI!!!!!"  
  
Mega Man was caught in it, and dragged to his back row, sustaining numerous hits.  
  
"Not so easy, is it twerp?"  
  
Mega Man threw a Big Bomb. Tengu Man couldn't avoid it in time.  
  
"AUGH!"  
  
Tengu Man's right hand formed into three green blades. Then he fired, revealing the blades to be part of a four-blade fan that was going down Mega Man's row FAST!  
  
"WHOA!"  
  
Mega Man barely jumped to the side. Then Tengu Man charged his weapon.  
  
"CYCLONE!!"  
  
Tengu Man fired a large tornado that covered all but the bottom row. Mega Man was picked up by it, and Tengu Man popped next to him, using his blades to cut Mega Man up before kicking him down. Mega Man wouldn't survive another hit.  
  
"LAN!!!!!"  
  
Lan was getting desperate. This Navi was different from most of the Navis he fought before. Then he checked the available and smiled. He sent Mega Man five chips.  
  
"You've had it kid."  
  
Then Mega Man smiled.  
  
"Oh really? PROGRAM ADVANCE GATER!!!!!!!"  
  
Lan had sent the Gater P.A. with two Attack +30 chips. Tengu Man's smirk immediately faded.  
  
"Oh shit."  
  
Tengu Man yelped in pain as Gater ripped through him, sealing Mega Man's victory. Although the battle ended though.  
  
"LAN! HE'S STILL ALIVE!!!!"  
  
Tengu Man smirked.  
  
"He-he. I used Undershot, and the last hit was the lethal one."  
  
Then Tengu Man warped out, much to Tempest's displeasure.  
  
"TENGU MAN!!! GET BACK THERE AND PROTECT THE CONTROL PROGRAM!!!!"  
  
Then he replied with words that neither Mega Man, or Lan were supposed to hear.  
  
"IF IT'S SO DAMN IMPORTANT THAT YOU'D WANT ME TO COMMIT SUICIDE, THEN PROTECT IT YER FUCKING DAMN SELF, ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Tempest immediately got angry. While he was yelling at him, Mega Man fixed the program, and jacked out. Not long after, the police arrived and dragged Tempest off. He threw his pet into a trashcan on the way. Later.  
  
"Huh? What's that pet doing in there?"  
  
It was the Gospel Kid that found it. He checked it. It was in perfect condition, and had a Navi. Now he could participate in the Navi related classes at school.  
  
/////////////////////////////////  
  
He-he-he. you should see what I've got planned for the next chapter. 


	2. School Daze

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-WHOA! I am NOT trying to hook you up with Maxim. He did that of his own free will.  
  
Maxim: . I think she's still suspicious of you, and I don't blame her.  
  
Forte: . WHAT THE HECK ARE _ YOU _ DOING HERE????????  
  
Maxim: Zero invited me.  
  
Forte: . He.did.WHAT?????  
  
Zero: THERE you are. ready?  
  
Maxim: Ready.  
  
(After a short pause, they begin a sword battle. It's surprising that Maxim's sword isn't sliced apart by Zero's Z-saber.)  
  
Forte: . figured. Anyway, since I can't settle our vendetta, I'll forget it. and I'll start on the path to completely dropping it by warning you about Maxim. He's nice, but like you, he has another side. Oh. and he's in his normal form.  
  
Maxim: (Stops.) I think you're getting your details mixed up. I DO have another side to me. but it's because of an evil spirit born from dark powers.  
  
Forte: I know that. had a nice chat with 'Dark' Maxim. Oh, and guess who helped him out by giving him the ability to take a form that rivals Dark Raptor's velociraptor form?  
  
Maxim: (Getting worried.) . WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING?????????  
  
Forte: At first it was going to be a last ditch effort to cream her, BUT. he gave me the 'Dark Raptor' treatment.  
  
Maxim: You deserved it then. and I'm glad he's not trying to surface today. (Continues sword battle with Zero.)  
  
Forte: . I'm beginning to understand how Beelzemon feels when he gets pestered writing a fic. Oh, and for story purposes, I'm dubbing the Gospel kid 'Max'.  
  
Maxim: . Did I inspire that?  
  
Forte: . I guess.  
  
//////////////////////////////  
  
Chapter dos (translation - two. Spanish. Although the spelling might be wrong.) - School Daze. School the next day was the same as always, until the time when it came to lessons involving Pets..  
  
"Max, I've said this before, but you can either wait in here, or sit outside during this time." Ms. Mari told him.  
  
"Actually, I found a Pet that was thrown out. It still works, so."  
  
"Well. I guess you can try it."  
  
Max jacked into the system along with the others. He did pay attention to the lessons, so he knew about a lot of it.  
  
". So your name's Max?" Lan asked.  
  
". Is there a problem with that?"  
  
"No, I.. HOLY COW! THAT'S THE NAVI THAT ATTACKED THE AIR SHOW YESTERDAY!!!!!!"  
  
Everyone looked at their displays, and sure enough, the Navi was the same one. Also, he was the only Navi using his 'desk' as a makeshift bed. He was sitting against it, and snoring. The other Navis gathered around him and stared. Then Guts Man poked him.  
  
"Hey! DON'T!" Mega Man shouted.  
  
His shouting woke Tengu Man up.  
  
"{YAAAAAAWWWWWWN!} Awww. Five more minutes Tempest. and I knew you wouldn't ditch me.. ZZZZZZZZZZ"  
  
Guts Man poked him again. He woke up, and looked around. His response was DEFINITELY unexpected.  
  
"Huh? AAAIIIIIIEEEEE CARAMBA!!!!!!!! IT'S THE SCHOOL NIGHTMARE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Then he fainted. All of the students and Navis sweat dropped. Then Maxim had an idea. He uploaded a battle chip. The reaction he got was expected.  
  
"WHOA! SI SENOR!! I'M READY FOR ACTION!!!!"  
  
Then he looked around again. He also quit mixing English and Spanish.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL?????? WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING IN MY PET??????????"  
  
Then Glyde decided to inform him of the situation.  
  
"Sir. you aren't in your Pet. You're in the school's lesson system. And I'm guessing your original owner discarded you."  
  
Tengu Man blinked, and then started shouting in Spanish. They had the feeling they didn't want to know what he was saying. Then he spoke to them in English.  
  
"Uh.. I'm in a school.."  
  
"Right.  
  
"Tempest ditched me."  
  
". I guess so."  
  
". THEN WHO THE BLOODY DAMN HELL HAS MY FUCKING PET???????????"  
  
Then Mari's Navi went up to him, and smacked him on his butt with a rod he uses as a weapon.  
  
"AIIIEEEE!!!!!! I THOUGHT I WOULDN'T GET SWATTED BY A TEACHER _ OUTSIDE _ OF MY NIGHTMARES!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Please refrain from profane language."  
  
". So I can't use Spanish?"  
  
Then everyone sighed, as they understood where he got the nightmares. Then Tengu Man noticed Mega Man.  
  
". WHAT THE HELL???????? YOU MEAN I'M STUCK AS A CLASSMATE FOR THAT BASTARD BRAT??????????"  
  
Then he was promptly swatted again, and he snapped, grabbing the rod, and bent it into a pretzel.  
  
"I dare you to try that now, senorita Ocelot."  
  
They didn't get his joke, and didn't care. What they did care about was that the Navi took out her main weapon. A quarterstaff with spikes on the ends.  
  
". Uh-he-he. Amiga, I didn't mean."  
  
He got swatted again, and started running around the 'room' to avoid getting swatted again.  
  
"GET BACK HERE YOU NAUGHTY NAVI!!!!!!!!"  
  
"HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS WORSE THAN WHEN SENOR OCELOT TORTURES SNAKE ON THE EXTREME DIFFICULTY!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Now they began to get a picture of his personality. They knew he played video games [downloaded ROM's for Navis.], spoke some Spanish, and probably had a heck of a time getting through school the first time.  
  
/////////////////////////////  
  
Zero: So tell me. (Deflects a few sword swipes.) Why's Tengu Man Spanish speaking?  
  
Forte: . Why not? The real Tengu Man that I know does.  
  
Maxim: .not now.  
  
(Maxim tenses a bit, and then relaxes, but has a different kind of aura about him.)  
  
Dark Maxim: HEYA!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(He switches sword style in mid fight, throwing off Zero, and lunges, stopping his sword one inch from running Zero through.)  
  
Zero: . I hope it's the good Maxim in control.  
  
Dark Maxim: . Humph. Just because I was created by evil DOES NOT mean I'm evil. Just that MY power is tainted.  
  
Forte: . Well you sure have a bad sense of humor.  
  
(Dark Maxim shifts into a form similar to Dark Raptor's but is a Tyrannosaur form for one thing.)  
  
Dark Maxim: . By the way. thanks for spooking my 'good' side. I needed his concentration thrown off.  
  
Forte: He-he-he. If I can't beat her, I might as well give her some really nasty competition.  
  
Zero: GAH! YOU PLANNED THIS????  
  
Forte: Yup. even fed Maxim the lie about his 'dark side' giving me the 'Dark Raptor' treatment.  
  
Dark Maxim: . The only thing wrong with this form. is that it's so good I still owe you for conning Magus into giving it to me.  
  
Zero: . How the hell did he do that?  
  
Forte: (Whispers into Zero's ear.)  
  
Zero: . You're kidding. Really? . He must have been drunk, or had a heck of a migraine when you tricked him.  
  
Forte: Well. We did drop a brick on his head. he easily lived, but you get the point..  
  
Zero: 'We'?  
  
Dark Maxim: (Back in human form.) Who else would be his new partner in pranks?  
  
Zero: . 


	3. Loco in el cabesa

Forte: WHAT'DA MEAN YOU WON'T GO AFTER HER??????????????  
  
Dark Maxim: (Now in a form just like Dark Raptor's, only male.) She's cute.  
  
Forte: . Magus did something to screw my plans, didn't he?  
  
Zero: Probably. So how did you get him to cooperate this time?  
  
Forte: I didn't. I studied his magic, and used a spell of my own to do it this time. he's flawless.  
  
Dark Maxim: No. SHE'S flawless. (Talking about Dark Raptor.)  
  
Forte: . Damn. Well, back to the drawing board. but first. (Zaps Dark Maxim, with no effect.) Uh. (Sweat drop.) I can't undo it!!!!!!!  
  
Dark Maxim: . Oh no.  
  
(He reverts to human form, and the aura around him fades.)  
  
Maxim: . What happened?  
  
Forte: . You're damn 'dark' side double-crossed me for a girl.  
  
////////////////////////////////  
  
Chapter three - Loco in the cabesa.  
  
"Okay class. your dismissed. and Max. I recommend adjusting your new Navi's personality."  
  
"WHAT???? YOU MUST BE LOCO IN THE CABESA, SENORITA MARI!!!!!!!" Tengu Man shouted.  
  
".Starting with his dialect so that I can tell if he's swearing or not."  
  
"I agree. he needs it." Yai added.  
  
". Wait. I just remembered. Tempest password locked my settings. and he forgot the password, so. HA! I REMAIN FREE TO FLY IN THE NET'S WILD BLUE YONDER, SENORITA MONESTARIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Now no one knew what he was talking about.  
  
". And make him less energetic if you ever find out the password."  
  
"BUT HE WON'T, NOW WILL HE SENORITA MONESTARIO!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
". Pardon me for asking, but who is Monestario?" Mayl asked.  
  
"You don't know? AIIEEE CARAMBA!!!!!"  
  
". I think we'd better just ignore him." Lan suggested.  
  
"Come on, we have to go home." Max told Tengu Man.  
  
Tengu Man was still in the school's network, while almost all the other Navis had jacked out. Tengu Man refused to go to some stranger. Guts Man tried to make him, but he was currently stuck in a hole in the programming Tengu Man blasted there.  
  
"Do you think I'm loco in el cabesa?"  
  
Max thought, and answered.  
  
"Yes, I DO think you're nuts."  
  
Tengu Man stared at him, puzzled.  
  
"You're the first person to figure out what that means. Not even Tempest knew."  
  
"Wait. you mean that you weren't programmed by him?"  
  
"Nope. I'm what you call a synchro Navi."  
  
". A Navi that's synchronized with their operators? But you're nothing like Tempest."  
  
"My operator was a Mexican boy. he's been dead for who knows how long. I think it's the same thing for Bass, but."  
  
"You know THE Bass???????"  
  
"Yeah. what's the problem?"  
  
"The Super Navi Bass????????"  
  
". I don't know about Super Navi, but he sure kicks some ass. He's a nice guy. if you don't get on his bad side. I even sparred with him a couple times. fighting him triggered my Migero.batt."  
  
"You're what?"  
  
"Synchro Navis have a .bat system. When triggered, it super charges them. Mine won't shut off. guess without my Synchro operator alive, it doesn't work right."  
  
". If it's always on, why did you lose to Mega Man?"  
  
". I don't know. The only possibility I can think of is if."  
  
Tengu Man trailed off. Then his eyes went wide, and he began shouting in Spanish. He went so quick Max couldn't tell where one word began and another ended. Then Tengu Man spoke to him in English.  
  
".What's your name?"  
  
"Max."  
  
"Well, it looks like I'm stuck as your Navi."  
  
Then Tengu Man jacked out.  
  
"Tengu Man. what were you shouting about?"  
  
". The only way Mega Man could have beat me is if HE'S a Synchro Navi WITH his Synchro operator with him."  
  
".Lan and Mega Man??? Synchronized???? No wonder he stopped Gospel."  
  
/////////////////////////////////  
  
Maxim: . well, at least my dark side isn't a problem anymore, but.  
  
Dark Maxim: . {Sigh}  
  
(Maxim and Dark Maxim are now separate, and Dark Maxim's in his 'Dark Raptor' form. He's still lovesick.)  
  
Zero: . I think I get it.  
  
Forte: What?  
  
Zero: Maxim's in love with Dark Raptor's human form, and Dark Maxim's in love with her raptor form.  
  
Forte: . So?  
  
Zero: . Well. this proves that the two Maxim's think alike on some levels.  
  
Maxim: However, I can take a hint. and Dark Maxim will learn the had way how to take one. Besides that. Dark Maxim probably stands a better chance since he's like Dark Raptor. with human and raptor counter parts. but I'm sure he's either going to be ignored, or killed.  
  
Dark Maxim: (Ignorant of what was said.) She sure is beautiful.  
  
Forte: I KNEW I shouldn't have let him keep the photo of her so he knew who to go after.  
  
Beelzemon: Too bad. and you're a dead man for that little 'trip'.  
  
Forte: Uh-he-he. it was an accident. 


	4. The nuances of a new Navi

Forte: Hey. Dark Raptor. Beelzemon can't get onboard the Hyperion. Oh, and if you didn't know. we're in the middle of a rescue op. However, since we need to wear down Bob's forces, we're stuck in the Hyperion. luckily. it's got everything. including a wireless Internet connection.  
  
Dark Maxim: . Hey Dark Raptor. I'm semi 'evil' too.  
  
Forte: Oh God. he's still in love with Dark Raptor. HEY! THAT'S GIVES ME AN IDEA!!!!!!!!  
  
Cid: Well ya better hurry!! Bob's shit cannons are somehow messing up the shield systems.  
  
Forte: Dark Maxim. Bob plans to cover everything in the world with shit.  
  
Dark Maxim: . Even Dark Raptor????????  
  
Forte: yep.  
  
(Dark Maxim becomes ultra ticked, and reverts to human form.)  
  
Forte: Huh???  
  
Dark Maxim: Despite the raptor form, I move faster in human form. and I DON'T want shit on me or Dark Raptor won't be able to stand being around me.  
  
(Then he dashes out, and maneuvers around the atomic poop blasts with ease. When he gets into position where the cannons can't hit him, he returns to his raptor form, and uses his clone attack to decimate the cannons.)  
  
Cid: Hey! Nice thinking. With the cannons gone, we can finish our fast rope descent. MARINES!!!! GO-GO-GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(The Terran marines fast rope descent into the castle.)  
  
Dark Maxim: That should help. (Then he goes back to admiring Dark Raptor's photo before making a decision.) Uh-oh.  
  
(He runs off, and soon, a large number of marines on stand by clad only in towels or even less run by.)  
  
Marine: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! THERE'S A GIANT LIZARD THING IN THE SHOWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Dark Maxim V/O: I have to be clean and presentable to Dark Raptor. now where's that heavy duty soap? I'm not taking any chances for a first impression.  
  
Forte: . I've created a monster. and not in the physical sense. Well, I'd better point a couple things out about the fic. A couple of ideas were borrowed from another author. Whoever wrote the fic centering on Forte.exe.  
  
//////////////////////////  
  
Chapter quadro - The nuances of a new Navi.  
  
Max closed and locked the door of his home behind him. It was a good home in ACDC town. Despite the money losses in the Gospel project, he still had enough to rival Yai. He went to his PC, and jacked Tengu Man into the system.  
  
"How's it like?" He asked him.  
  
Navis had a section of PC's to themselves. It was like their room, you could say. It didn't take up memory in the PC itself. It was more like a web page. Tengu Man had one comment about his new room.  
  
".It's a bit bare, don't you think?"  
  
"I never had a Navi before."  
  
"Oh. Well, I don't want to trouble you, so I'll get my buddies to help me decorate it. I have my own account, so you won't lose any money in this."  
  
Max knew what he meant. Some of the items Navis use in their 'rooms' had to be purchased.  
  
"Suit yourself. Mind if I help?"  
  
".Well, if I'm your Navi now, I'd better start making a friendship SOMEWHERE. go ahead."  
  
Then Tengu Man went onto the net, while Max surfed some net pages for Navi items. Tengu Man returned soon. He had a few Navis with him.  
  
".You're lucky to get a GOOD operator Tengie."  
  
Then the female Navi leaned on his shoulder. Tengu Man sighed.  
  
". Diana. get off of him." A cloaked Navi said.  
  
Then she did. She was one of several more personalized Navis. Few actually had 'name' names.  
  
"Touchy, aren't you large mouth Bass?"  
  
Then the cloaked Navi became furious.  
  
"IT'S. _ JUST _. BASS!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Then he opened fire on her, nearly deleting her.  
  
"AAAAAIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GET THE MESSAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Max knew the cloaked Navi.  
  
"You weren't kidding. you DO know the Super Navi Bass."  
  
Then Bass looked up at the screen, and frowned.  
  
"Oh great. your new operator's the brat that made copies of me. Damn kid."  
  
"HEY!!!! I KNOW WE'RE FRIENDS, BUT DON'T CUSS AROUND THE KID!!!!!!!!!" Tengu Man argued.  
  
". Fine. But do you realize HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THOSE COPIES!!!!!!!!!"  
  
".How long?" Max and Tengu Man asked in unison.  
  
"FIVE, LONG, DAMN, MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST TO TRACK THEM DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
".How long did it take to destroy them?"  
  
". About four minutes. It would have been less, but there was about a thousand of them."  
  
"A THOUSAND NAVIS IN FOUR MINUTES?????????????"  
  
".Are we here to talk, or help get this room fixed up?"  
  
Later, after some decorating, and some arguing, they're putting up new wallpaper. But for Navis, it's done like humans put up wallpaper in their houses.  
  
"Hey Napalm Man? Hand me the 'glue'."  
  
". That's not funny. I don't have hands."  
  
".Okay.How's about Elec Man?"  
  
Elec Man takes a brush out of a bucket filled with some liquid that looks like liquid digital code, and hands it to Tengu Man, but.  
  
"YOU BEAN BAG!!!!!!! THAT'S THE WRONG END!!!!!!!"  
  
Tengu Man then struggles to get the brush unstuck from his hand. Later.  
  
"I'm surprised Bass shut up." Diana said.  
  
"Say.. Where is he?"  
  
Then they notice a giant bump in the wallpaper that's moving.  
  
"MMMMMPPPPHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"You know. after a while. we could get used to that unsightly bump."  
  
"Nah. he did help out."  
  
Then Cut Man cuts him free. Then Max had a question.  
  
"Hey! How did you Navis come back to life?"  
  
"Bass restored some deleted Navis. They're free Navis like he is now."  
  
Tengu Man then lugs in a Rom playing system, and some Rom games. He also lugs in an Audio Video program.  
  
"Who's up for a round of golf?"  
  
"GOLF??????????"  
  
"Well. I don't have THAT good of a budget."  
  
Max then decided to be generous.  
  
"You know. I have some extra Zenny."  
  
"No, really. I."  
  
Max then transferred some Zenny to Tengu Man's account, which was still in the process of being altered to connect to Max's account.  
  
".WHOA!!!!!!!"  
  
/////////////////////////////////////  
  
Forte: So. How's the assault going?  
  
Cid: 'Neo-Foxhound' has just stormed the castle, and disabled the secondary generator. Dynamo has secured the security control room for the upper levels, Snake has cleared the lower levels of guards, and there's still more info coming in.  
  
Dark Maxim V/O: . HEY!!!!!! WHO USED UP _ MY _ BOTTLE OF STRAWBERRY SCENTED SHAMPOO??????????????????  
  
(Cid and Forte look at each other.)  
  
Cid and Forte: . Strawberry scented shampoo?  
  
Maxim: Uh-he-he. more like OUR. I used it last before we separated. It's the kind that prevents hair knots. Lydie used to love the scent. you can't find cologne scented like that you know.  
  
Dark Maxim V/O: . Oh well. Out with the old, in with the new. WHAT THE??????? ALL THAT'S LEFT IS SHAMPOO SCENTED 'SUGAR AND SPICE'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Maxim: . Got me.  
  
Aeris: THAT I can answer. its cinnamon scented. it's meant for the Christmas holidays.  
  
Dark Maxim V/O: Here we go. There's another bottle of shampoo hidden by the curtain.  
  
Maxim: (Wide eyed.) HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!! THAT'S _ MY _ SHAMPOO!!!!!!! I BOUGHT THAT THIS MORNING!!!!!!!!!!! (Runs toward the shower room.) DON'T YOU DARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(After a short period of silence, Maxim is sent flying out of the shower room.)  
  
Forte: Looks like you'll have to forget it.  
  
Maxim: . Dang. That was a styling shampoo I bought to help me get my hair into my usual style every day.  
  
Cid: You mean slightly messy, but clean? Why don't you just wear a hat for a while, and take it off.  
  
Maxim: Please. there's a system to it. and I DON'T want hat hair.  
  
Cid: Oh. new report. Seifer, Vincent, and Zell have secured the bathrooms, and have executed the Sumo guy on account of his shit was the ammunition. They'll be glad to use a revive when the mission is over. The Marines have successfully drawn the fire of the guards, and the Ghost team has snuck into the castle.  
  
Forte: Ghost team?  
  
(Then a group of Terran soldiers suddenly appear.)  
  
Ghost captain: Special Terran forces with personal cloaking devices. We can also lockdown electronics.  
  
Forte: Oh.  
  
Cid: I say we're doing.  
  
Radio: BOB HAS BEEN CAPTURED! I REPEAT!! BOB HAS BEEN CAPTURED!!!!  
  
Forte: Operation Ghosts in the Darkness was a success.  
  
Radio: This is Liquid Snake, reporting in. we're under heavy fire here!!!!! There's some kind of. HELLHOUND here!!!!!!  
  
Forte: A HELLHOUND??????? SEND A VISUAL!!!!!!!!  
  
(A visual comes in, and it's a giant dog-like demon with its hind section already decomposing.)  
  
Cid: What the hell????  
  
Liquid V/O: MAN DOWN!!!!! MAN DOWN!!!!!!!! FIREFLY'S BEEN HIT BY. BY A STAIN GLASS KNIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Maxim: What's the hell is going on????  
  
Raiden V/O: I'VE FREED SSG AND SHADOW!!!!  
  
Cid: RAIDEN!!!!! GET ALL FRIENDLY UNITS OUT OF THE CASTLE AS DAMN FAST AS POSSIBLE!!!!!! SOME UNKNOWN FORCE IS ATTACKING, AND THEY'VE GOT A HELL OF AN ARMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Raiden V/O: Roger! SSG, the fastest way out is out the window.  
  
SSG V/O: ARE YOU NUTS!?!?!?!?!?!?! DO YOU REALIZE HOW LONG OF A DROP THAT IS???????????  
  
Raiden V/O: I've heard the radio communications. you're choice. out the window, or past some weird demonic forces?  
  
Shadow and SSG V/O: OUT THE WINDOW!!!!!!  
  
Solidus V/O: SON!!! I'M GETTING THE KASATKA AS CLOSE TO THE WINDOW AS I CAN!!!!! HOLD ON!!!!!!!!  
  
Forte: This is all going wrong. WHO THE HELL IS ATTACKING THE CASTLE BESIDES US?????????????? 


	5. NET BATTLE!

Beelzemon: .. Don't look at me.. It's Forte's story.. (Points to Forte.)  
  
Forte: Eh-he-he-he-he.. Gotta updated this SOMETIME.. Huh? Dark Maxim, what the heck are you doing????  
  
Dark Maxim: (In raptor form.) Inventory for Mischief Night with Dark Raptor.. Let's see.. five rolls of Bowser's T.P... (Lifts a large thing of toilet paper, and is barely able to reach around it.) ... Well.. I never said it wasn't cumbersome.. Yoshi and his buddies...  
  
Yoshi: YOSHI!!!!!!!!  
  
Forte: Why are you taking those lizards Mario rides on?  
  
Dark Maxim: They don't seem to run out of eggs.. and you have to admit, those eggs are pretty big.. Spider-man..  
  
Spider-man: I'm not an item..  
  
Forte: .. I know.. for silly string.. but his webs dissolve somewhere between one and two hours.  
  
Spider-man: I'm using a formula commonly found in silly string, and one refill holds enough string to completely cover a four-block square..  
  
Dark Maxim: I don't know if Dark Raptor would mind me bringing these guys along, but they'll sure help.. let's see... And the crowning glory.. (Points to a giant stink bomb.) THAT'S for those kids Dark Raptor wants to undo.. which brings me to the next item.. customized gas masks.. Then there are the hogsheads of shaving cream..  
  
Forte: Hogsheads???????  
  
Dark Maxim: Hogsheads are large barrels that hold a LOT of something.. 63 gallons of something at the least.. believe me or not, Vegeta's helping carry those..  
  
Forte: .. I feel sorry for the kids..  
  
////////////////////////////////////////  
  
Chapter five - Net battle!!!!!!! .... Ha! Fooled ya!  
  
Tengu man had gone returned with a large package.  
  
"I got better games.."  
  
Bass kept his arms crossed.  
  
"Did you check it for viruses?"  
  
"Viruses?" Max asked, "In the package?"  
  
"It wouldn't be the first time those emulator games had viruses in them.. or those Rom games you buy.. sometimes it's intentional so they rip you off.. or just cause you misery.."  
  
Tengu man carefully opened the package, and suddenly, a white face with purple, yellow, and other colored streaks sprang out, scaring all but Bass.  
  
"... CLOWN MAN, YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tengu man shouted at the long armed Navi.  
  
Clown man hopped out of the package, and took the games inside with him out, handing them to Tengu man.  
  
"It was just a joke.. Truce?"  
  
"...Truce."  
  
Tengu man grabbed Clown man's hand to shake, but the only one shaking was him, and that was because Clown man's whole arm came off, and he was screaming his head off..  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU TORE MY ARM OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Max then realized something.  
  
"Tengu man, that's just a new spin on the old 'tearing their hand off' trick.."  
  
Clown man quit screaming, and got angry as he slipped his REAL arm out of the hole.  
  
"Awww.. you spoiled it.."  
  
"Clown man, knock it off.."  
  
"Sheesh... Can't take a joke.. Hey! I went fishing earlier, and.."  
  
Bass had already pointed his buster guns at Clown man by this time.  
  
"If you DARE say ANYTHING relating to my name as a joke, you'll be dead before you can even feel a thing.."  
  
Clown man shut up.  
  
"... From now on, I'm sticking to my original name to avoid these jokes.."  
  
"What was that?" Max asked.  
  
"..Battle's my forte, and Forte's my name."  
  
All the others looked at each other.  
  
"Forte?"  
  
"What's wrong with Forte?"  
  
"Nothing..."  
  
Then Bas... Er... Forte... Leaned against a wall, and crossed his arms.  
  
"Good.. I see that there's a downloaded version of Counter-strike in there.."  
  
"Forget it.. We don't know a lot about it.. it was a package deal.."  
  
Then Clown man rolled back on the floor, and had his extra lengthy arms wrapped around him.  
  
"'PACKAGE' DEAL!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA- HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S A GOOD ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
The others sweatdropped.  
  
"..You're worse than King Kai.."  
  
The others then stared at Forte.  
  
"..Am I the only one that watches DBZ?"  
  
"... What?" All the Navis asked.  
  
Then Forte sighed.  
  
"Dragonball Z?"  
  
They still didn't get it, but Max did.  
  
"Hey! How can you watch that in there?"  
  
"My secret.. now let's see what we can play.."  
  
  
  
  
  
Soon they had found a game Max could join in with his controller hook up.. A customizable version of Super Smash Bros. Melee.  
  
"YIEEEE!!!!!!"  
  
Tengu Man had succumbed to the team that Forte and Diana used. He was Ganondorf, and she was Zelda/Sheik. Tengu Man had been Luigi, and Max was Kirby. Sheik warped near Kirby, and Kirby ran towards Ganondorf, and sucked him up. Ganondorf rushed Kirby, and tried to jump to avoid a Warlock punch, but ate one anyway, leaving Sheik and Kirby. Then Sheik twirled the whip to knock Kirby around, kicked him away, and charged up a needle storm, unleashing it as Kirby was coming close to the edge, defeating him by preventing him from getting back onstage..  
  
"Good game.." Forte and Max said in unison.  
  
Tengu man started a long Spanish swearing rant, and Diana was doing a victory dance.  
  
"I WON!!!!! I WON!!!!!! UH-HUH-UH-HUH-UH-HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Forte sweatdropped.  
  
"...Diana.. You're operator has a ROM of 'The Emperor's New Groove', doesn't she?"  
  
"...How'd you know?"  
  
Then Forte and the others that heard of the movie face faulted..  
  
////////////////////////////////////////////  
  
Forte: I just realized something.. how the heck did you get Vegeta in on this???????  
  
Dark Maxim: Simple.. those kids are the ones that set off those fireworks near the hotel last July..  
  
Forte: OHHHHHH... That'd explain why Piccolo's helping too..  
  
Piccolo: I don't see what you plan to do with the tar and feathers..  
  
Dark Maxim: (Sweatdrop.) You've never heard of tar and feathering someone???????  
  
Piccolo: .. I thought it was an expression.. strange humans...  
  
Forte: You're going to tar and feather those kids??????????  
  
Dark Maxim: And then nail them to trees by their underwear... It's a classic way to make them Halloweenies..  
  
Forte: ... Ouch... HEY!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S _ MY _ METHOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Dark Maxim: See how popular it is among pranksters?  
  
Forte: .... Uh...I guess...  
  
Dark Maxim: (Tries on a customized gas mask.) ... it fits... good thing I made sure I have to gas masks that should fit Dark Raptor and I..the others have generic gas masks since they'll fit them... The Yoshis will have left by the time we use the stink bomb... Since we're saving it for the last touch....  
  
Forte: Talk about embarrassing and humiliating someone... 


End file.
